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ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Always Upside-down, Double Interest
Another Understated Dealer Incentive
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Bavarian Manure Wagon
Biggest Metal Waste
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Bring More Wrenches
Bring Money Where?
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CADILLAC
Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After
Collisions
CAMARO
Cash Always Miniscule
After Retail Overpricing
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck
Every Time
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every
Time
CHEVY
Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?
Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet
CHRYSLER
Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His
name IACOCCA stands for:
I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic
Robbery
DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere
Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive
Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine
Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone
FERRARI
Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads
Intuitively
FIAT
Found In A Trashcan
Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation Failure
In Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
Fix It Another Time
FIRESTONE
Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV
Tires On Non-stable Explorers
Firestone Overstates Reliability Data
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FORD THUNDERBIRD
This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine
Repair But It Rolls Downhill
MUSTANG - Motor Usually Starts
Then Almost Never Goes Faithful, Obedient,
Reliable, Dependable
Fancy Oil Recycling Device
Found On Rubbish Dump
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation
Here's a good one:
FORD backwards
Driver Returns On Foot
Here's another good one:
FORD backwards
Driver Relies On Family
Firestone Overstates
Reliability Data
First On Recall Day
Fast On Race Day
For Off Road Driving
Fireball On Rear Damage
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap
Tin And Needless Garbage
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Most tasteless one on the page: Found
Flip Over, Read Directions
Fork Over Remaining Dough
GEO
Get Everything Overpriced
Got Everything Overhauled
GM
General Maintenance
Give More
Grab Me
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Greatest Mistake Created
Greasy Messy Contraption
Gimme My Checkbook!
Get More Cash!
HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Honda Options: No Deal Available!
Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!
HYUNDAI
Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
Hope You Understand: Nothing's Driveable And
Inexpensive
Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside
JEEP
Just Empty Every Pocket
Just Expect Every Problem
Just Eats Every Penny
Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Just Expect Extra Payments
Jaguar
Just A Guess U Are Rich
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KIA
Keep It Away!
Korea's Imported Accident
Kiss It Away
Korea Invades America
MERCEDES
Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline
Evident Soon
MOPAR
My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race
Moments Of Power Are Rare
NISSAN
Need I Say Something About Nothing
OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of
Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
SAAB
Styling Absent After Buyout
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Send Another Automobile Back
Start Adding Additional Brake fluid
SATURN
Same American Trash Under Revised Name
SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
TOYOTA
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options
VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Wonderful
Very Weird
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine
Noise
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